I have never climaxed with my husband

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I love my boyfriend so much, I think I ought to tell him the truth, but I'm so scared of losing him and messing everything up. Sometimes I think I can keep on faking, but I can't. I know he'll hate the fact I've lied to him for so long.

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Q: Sex with my husband is a bit How can we work on this? This is really good news!

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I'm 45 years old, but I didn't have my first orgasm until three years ago. It wasn't for lack of trying, either. I was 19 when I lost my virginity.

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I have never had a proper orgasm during sex despite having had three sexual partners in my life and being married for 12 years. I kept assuming it would eventually happen, magically, spontaneously. I keep waiting for my sexual partners to figure out how to bring me to orgasm. Or does it?

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Want a guy to excitedly go down on you? Want him to last longer in bed and make every possible effort to please you? There's an easy trick: just tell him you've never had an orgasm.

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Despite being a very early masturbator and a pro at giving myself orgasms at a young ageI had never been able to achieve an orgasm with a partner. Not during intercourse, not during oral, not at all, ever. With my first boyfriend, I assumed we just hadn't figured it out yet by the time our year-long relationship ended.

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One woman shares the strategy that finally got her to climax. Photo: Shutterstock. I was 19 when I lost my virginity.

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But how often do we actually hear the nitty-gritty details of how we might actually achieve those things? Bustle has enlisted Vanessa Marin, a sex therapistto help us out with the specifics. Q: I'm able to orgasm on my ownand can climax during sex by using my own hand or a vibrator. I enjoy it when my boyfriend touches me and goes down on me, but I never orgasm.

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Editor's note: Given the sensitive nature of this piece, the writer has asked to remain anonymous. I'd downed a few cocktails and she had just finished telling me about a crazy night of sex with a guy she'd just met. She nodded, and I took a deep breath.

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Women react to the resultant emotional pain by developing a poor self-concept or body image, distrust of their partner and other protective and pseudo-independent defenses that, in turn, predispose alienation in their relationships. Basically insecure anxious or avoidant attachment patterns they developed in childhood persist into adult life and strongly influence numerous aspects of sexual relating. The list is not meant to exhaust all possible psychological issues; however, in our clinical experience, we have found these to be fundamental and understanding them to be useful in helping women achieve richer, more satisfying sexual lives. Your breasts are misshapen.

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